Getting consent is important, whether that be in a committed sexual relationship, casual flirtation, or just a touch on the arm. You’d be hard pressed to find someone to publicly disagree with this statement. This is because our society has become more and more vocal about asking for consent in the last few years, but what about giving consent? Consent is a two way street, so it is important that one learns how to be a better partner in consenting relationships.
When someone asks for your consent, pause a moment before answering. Many times, I’ve asked someone where I can touch them and received the answer, “Oh, anywhere is fine”. “Anywhere” is not a good word to use during consent; it is vague, and most people do not realize how much they may be consenting to with “anywhere”. Avoid “anywhere” and “wherever” and respond with specific positive or negative permissions: “You CAN touch my arms and my shoulders, but please DON’T touch my chest”.
The language of consent is tricky and complex, but that complexity provides the nuance that can keep all parties in a consenting relationship safe.
Written by Andrew Tyrell-Smith
Artwork by Isabel
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