A “nice guy” getting mad at you for being put in the friendzone is an almost universal experience for women and if you are one of these self-proclaimed “nice guys” this message is for you.
Relationships and sex are not things that any women owe you, ever. Simply being nice is not going to help you in the romance department if the ulterior motive of your kindness is to get something from someone. The term “nice guys finish last” can be attributed to the fact that many of these nice guys act this way for sex or romance instead of just being nice for the sake of being a good person - and women can see through this! Hence finishing last. Women’s common rejection of “nice guys” has led to the myth that women only love assholes that won’t treat them right and while some women have a bad taste in men, this idea has been almost entirely made up by insecure men who cannot handle rejection.
The entitlement of love or sex for being nice and blaming women for not reciprocating feelings is extremely toxic. It is damaging to women as they may feel pressured into a relationship as payment for the guy being nice to them or might be guilt-tripped into pretending to reciprocate feelings. This level of entitlement from a guy is not healthy and not attractive.
If you find yourself blaming women for putting you in the friendzone or wondering why you’re still single when “you’re such a nice guy”, it might be time to look deeper into your motives and take a second to wonder if maybe, just maybe, it’s not that she doesn’t want to date a “nice guy” she just doesn’t want to date you.
Written by Eloise (Ella) Klassen
Artwork by Zara Masood
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