The new media is becoming increasingly popular and therefore important in our daily lives. Social media platforms such as TikTok are becoming significantly more important in educating young people about social issues and the existence of LGBTQ+ people. While people are becoming more aware of these things through the help of TikTok, there is also a degree of performative, or even over-validation happening. This also exists outside of TikTok, of course - the infantilisation of transgender people is also present on other social media sites, such as Tumblr.
Where people may be trying to validate and support their transgender peers, they are often doing more harm than actual good. Transgender men and those who identify outside of the gender binary are often infantilised, while transgender women are sexualised. In several instances, the mere presence of a transgender person online will lead to comments in regards to their gender - no matter what they are doing. While there is a lot of genuine support for transgender people, there has always been support which isn’t as genuine. Irrespective of their personalities, creators will get a large following simply because of their gender, not because of the content they make. For transgender men specifically, their following may come because they’re seen as an “uwu soft boy”, or a “small bean”. These comments are incredibly demeaning. While a trans man may be short, or have other traits that may be associated with younger men, it doesn’t condone being infantilised.
On the flip side, transgender people often also receive compliments depending on how well they “pass”, or meet cisgender standards. Many transgender people online may find themselves being complimented or supported due to how they look and act, rather than the content they are creating. Transgender people shouldn’t be complimented based on how well they fit into cisgender standards.
Likewise, there has been a rise in over-validation of non-binary people on TikTok. Not only are people trying to force gendered terms upon those who clearly identify outside of the gender binary, but there is also an assumption that all non-binary people use they/them pronouns. Although many non-binary people do use they/them pronouns, there is also a significant amount of non-binary people who do not, and are equally as valid in their identities. Despite this, many non-binary people receive comments such as “m’theydy, gentlethem” “go they/them go!”, which is not only unnecessary but also makes people feel extremely uncomfortable. Many transgender people have said that they’d “rather be called a slur”, than receive these specific comments from strangers online.
While the soaring support for LGBTQ+ people online is generally a positive thing and while the educational aspect of TikTok is generally positive, some things must change. This applies outside of social media, too. Affirming a transgender person’s identity upon every compliment or interaction is superfluous and perhaps even unnecessary. Whether it’s about their appearance; gender; or even their pronouns, the over-validation of transgender people is harmful and threatens their online presence, where they may feel safe. If you don’t feel the need to highlight a cisgender person’s pronouns and appearance each time you interact with them, why do it to trans people?
Written by Ty
Artwork by Delicia
